Q & A 302 – From DR in Chicago

“Salam Alaikum. I converted to Islam 5 years ago when I was about 17. Before I even converted &I was reading the Quran every night trying to learn about it I began hearing these invasive thoughts that I knew were definitely not my own. I thought it definitely wasn’t a coincidence seeing as I was finding faith and assurance in the words of the Quran. Eventually one day I felt like something was entering me. My throat felt tight, my chest felt full, so my friend and I, talked the entire time on chat. He encouraged me while I was reading ayahs from the Quran &I listening to a single nasheed and I got it out of myself completely that same night. I remember I saw an angel on each side of myself both on blended knees right before it finally left me. My impression was they were praying with me. And I swear I could see the jinn or whatever it was outside my door upset, but my faith was concrete after that moment, shortly after I read the Quran again and for the first time came across the verse that says God gives us two angels and this is what made me finally convert after months of deliberation. Well a few days or weeks later I began feeling this again and I fought all night by myself trying to expel it from me. I read verses from the Quran and did what I did last time, but I was SO OVERWHELMINGLY tired. I was new to the faith and knew nothing about this, so I thought maybe I’ll get some rest and I’ll have enough energy to fight it tomorrow. Worst mistake because I woke up and could immediately feel it ALL inside of me. It seemed stronger than last time, so apart of me has suspected there’s two inside of me. The times I have tried to expel it since then have made me think that because once I think I have it completely out I can feel more. I realize by the way it tries to impact my thoughts that it’s sole purpose is for me to lose my faith. It tries to get me to commit shirk, believe Allah no longer wants me or even TRIES to get me to devote my future children to other than Allah, but I have been strong in resisting this completely. It makes it hard to pray. It becomes a tiring and physical experience every time & I’m afraid of the physical pain of a ruqya considering the first time I went through it my jaw and head were so sore and throbbing. I just need help. Any time I have tried, and I haven’t tried to expel it recently, which I’m about to change inshallah, I have been so focused but then fallen asleep in the middle of it and woken up with pain in my neck, Quran still in my hands in whatever position I was reciting in, but I have woken up with bad neck pains. I’m not losing my faith, which is what I’m most happy with. There are times where I’ve felt that I’ve been close to giving up, but I still hold on by the Mercy of Allah. I’m starting to wonder if I need someone else to help me do this. I live in Chicago and I really have no one else. I’m a convert and my family is Christian and would think I’m nuts. Do you think you can help me or have any connections here?”  Submitted on Mon, Jan 8, 2018 at 12:26 AM

On Tuesday, January 9, 2018 12:37 PM – ruqyah.net wrote:

Waalaikumussalam DR, my name is Tante H (Tante = aunt) and I am, Alhamdulillah, is the raqi (the one who does the ruqyah).  First of all I am very happy for you, MasyaAllah you got hidayah so found the truth.  I am located in California but insyaAllah will find a way to help you.  I am Alhamdulillah 64 years old and still working full time.  My days off is on Tuesday and Wednesday so most likely on Tuesday is the only free time I have to help you because on Tuesday I teach Qur’an.  InsyaAllah Allah allows me to help you.  The cure is strictly from Allah and that I don’t know how to see, diagnose, read as the psychic does but Alhamdulillah Allah had cured most of my patients.  You can call me at (650) 000-0000 if I don’t answer, please do leave a message insyaAllah I will return your call.  Wassalam

On Friday, April 27, 2018, 12:11:46 AM PDT – DR wrote:

“Tante H,  Salam alaikum. Thank you for responding to my message. I just feel very tired and ashamed that I am tired. I’m 22 now and have been dealing with these jinn inside of me for five years now. I know that sounds crazy, but it’s the truth. It seems that as soon as I ever began learning about Islam as a teenager suddenly these things were against me. I just want to be freed from my burden, so I can go back to praising Allah in the best way I can. In all these years I have refused to give up my monotheistic faith. Can you imagine that? 365 days a year for 5 years. That’s 1,825 days of consistently defending my faith and fighting off invasive thoughts that try to convince me not to. Please also know that in my worship I follow the Quran only and it is the only thing that gives me peace of mind. The Quran helps so much and so does praying salat, but it has been physically uncomfortable, exhausting and sometimes even painful to pray. I am still fighting myself to get up and pray though. The effort is still there. Would you still be able to help me without hadith or would this be unacceptable to you?  Sincerely, DR”

On Friday, April 27, 2018, 11:51:37 AM PDT – ruqyah.net wrote: