Q & A 13 – From anonymous lady in California

Submitted on 2013/01/27 at 5:21 pm

Asalamalaykum- I am writing for hel with my famly. My mom and dad are very ill and have liver disease. They have always complained since i was a child of something not good around them. Everything my dad did went wrong…my parents are scared at night as they have always complained about something crawling up them from feet to head. They have made many mistakes of going to people for taweez. They never were taught much of rght and wrong in Islam verses more taught cultural ways. The pain and sufferring my parents have gone through is SO extreme that I would need a lot of space to write it. My parents have four daughters and one son. They worked soo hard for all of us…though my brother and his wife and my parents have soo much pain and anger for eachother. Its soo bad that my brother wishes for their death..my brother is very sucidal and makes comments that he is sick and nobody knows his conditio and to lleave him alone if he treats our parents good or bad. He tells us we should be thankful that he has been living with them since day one. My brother even gives his wife prrmission to talk back to my parents. He is against me and his wife hates me because I speak my mind if they anger me. The situation is beyond out of control now. Both my parents were on the treatment by doctor for the liver. But my dad who was still a hard worker earning for my brother (my brother is lazy with two kids and plays video games and shutshi.self out from family and was soo close to finish school and never did and relied on my dad earning for him)…all of the sudden the treatment for liver on my father had bad aide effects and he was hospitalized and now has liver failure and doctors are giving us a run around. My dad and mom are bother chronically ill and cry and complain all the time that even though they are dying their one and only son doesnt care to even ask how they are. Instead my brother and his wife leave their fwo small children with my parents who can barely take care if themselves. The actionz in tbat house are SO harsh that it would make anybody cry. My sisters and I are the ones driving 40 mins every week to take my dad and mom to doctors. We have multiple marriagea on one family. My brother me and my other sister are married to one family. I told my parents they need to ask Allah (swt) for help as much as possible and i even made them cd with ayatul kursi and surah rehman and dua manzil etc. The scary thing is when my mother tries to pray her tongue gets ties and stutters a lot she said. But my dad hates it if she prays and stays away from quran and prayers as much as he can yet lectures us to remember allah when we girls come. My brother is against believing in black maguc and the most stubborn man i have ever met. I dont know how to get them all to get connected with Allah because there is so much bad in that house. I pray Allah helps them and am lost to how about to get them to seek help from Allah. We live in Northern CA. Bay area is not far from us. Please if you feel you can help through Allah (swt) get my family to start remembering Allah and how I should go about this matter…that would be so appreciated. I am afraid of losing my parents and feel even there illness and poverty and pain are due to many enemies of theirs and black magic. I believe it has affected everyone in my family including my family. But I am happy to say that with faith Allah and doing prayers nightly that I have found peace in my house. Please email me.

Submitted on 2013/01/27 at 11:17 pm

Asalamalaykum-I am writing for help with my famly. My mom and dad are very ill and have liver disease. They have always complained since i was a child of something not good around them. Everything my dad did through his life went wrong…my parents are scared at night as they have always complained about something crawling up them from feet to head. They have made many mistakes of going to people for taweez and cure. They never were taught much of right and wrong in Islam verses they were more taught cultural ways and traditions. The pain and sufferring my parents have gone through is SO extreme that I would need a lot of space to write it. My parents have four daughters and one son. My eldest sister ran away and married non muslim who converted after the fact with no faith….my sister had a baby boy with him and came home crying that they were bad and didnt practice islam properly and then she shut down and stopped talking….she use to say the food we gave is snakes and stuff and would throw it and we are the devils and the tv would talk to her. She symptomed while still with non muslim that she heard voices and was scared…nobody took it seriously…until she divorced and was admitted to a mental hospital…she went through that phase many times after recovering and has been married several times as well…( and the ex husband who was a non muslim converted to islam on his own after he knew she was married again…he did it for himself this time)..my mom and dad were sooo stressed that they were certain that she was possessed…they took her all over and to even Pakistan to many different people all of which said the entire family has such strong black magic and it is soo old and heavy and hard to remove…my mom got taweez and bought things for demands per the people she went to and some of them even made a manly voice come out of her…my parents were losing sooo much faith in Allah (swt) and they relied solely on help from someone…but of course they failed and things only got worse around the house…since then we have realized my sister has mental issues and needs to just stay on depression meds to keep her normal….my sister is more religious than us all at times…I feel soo bad for her…she is married with another child (daughter) to my husbands friend… and we are hoping this marriage is good for her as long as she takes her meds. She had a mental breakdown with this marriage too because she stopped her meds during preganancy but her husband stuck through it… and waited the typical 9 months or so for her recovery…When my eldest sister ran away our house seemed like someone died and relatives would come and cry and prayers all day. As we were kids we felt wierd things and heard noises in house which we thought there was a ghost…there was mainly a noise by my eldest sisters bed and when she ran away and a few months before she returned home asking for forgiveness and went mental she had said she heard the same noises from her new house with her ex-husband. Then my parents made the rest of us get married in Pak by age 18. My brother and other older sister married first and with their luck they found a marriage proposal from the same family….my sister married the son and my brother did only nikkah with daughter in Pakistan. Two years later as my parents were told that I was on the wrong path found out that I truely was on the wrong path and flew me to Pakistan as well to get me married….we have little family there and I was bored and depressed…I asked my mom to let me stay at the in laws of my sister and brother because thet are more my age and I was excited to meet my brothers wife whom he never had any relationship to because she was too young at the time of nikkah…well that young sistet in law and other sisters of hers convinced me to marry their younger brother ( my brother and sisters brother in law)…i got convinced and was stubborn to do so and told my mom….she was against it and said no and its not good for so many of us to have a link with same family…after a few arguements and issues I got my way to marry him because everyone else I was introduced to for marriage were scary and wierd to me….at the time of me getting married some of my relatives were in Pak too to get their boys married and all of them wanted me to marry with them. None of us siblings wanted yo marry relatives and our parents were always strict but gave us the choice which our relatives hated of them. So we said no to all propsals….basically everyone of my siblings were approached by a relative of someone except my brother. Actually…my eldest sister was pressured since childhood and finally forced to a proposal by pressure from other family threatening to disown my parents if they said no…all this happened before she ran away…she agreed and it broke off because my of boys side and my sister was scared about her future and happiness and started reading the quran to seek answers for the rights of a daughter…then she fell in love with a man at work and ran away.My parents were scared and always cried that they were poor and everything they did turned from gold to dirt (relatives and close family friends betrayed my dad financially) and that their kids were their only richness of respect and reputation…and we took that from them too. My father worked soo hard for all of us…we were soo poor that every summer when starting at age 10-12 we spent every summer about 10-12 hours in the fields working hard for our relatives who hated us just so my dad can buy us clothes and school supplies before school started again and he can pay some bills with left overs of money. This didnt make any of us hate oyr parents…it just made us sad and think “why us?” My brother and his wife and my parents have soo much pain and anger for eachother. It started more after my got married. His wife is so mean and a liar and I have learned it is not just her…but her whole family (mine and my sisters in laws as well) lie so much that swearing is nothing to them. They have so much unity for eachother and stick up for each other. My brothers wife tries to get my husband to hate eachother…one time I took too many pills in an arguement and almost killed myself and was rushed to hospital and doctors said I was close to dying…It scared me. Its soo bad now that my brother wishes for my parents death..my brother is very sucidal as well and when he argues with my parents he tries to kill himself with a knife or fire and now makes comments to my other sister that he is sick and nobody knows his condition and loses memory so much and a while ago even saif he might have a brain tumor and to leave him alone and for us to not questiom or intefere with his relationship with our parents and its non of our business if he treats our parents good or bad. He tells us we should be thankful that he has been living with them since day one. My brother even gives his wife prrmission to talk back to my parents. He is against me more than my other sisters because of his wife and his wife hates me because I speak my mind if they anger me and am more strong minded than any of them. The situation is beyond out of control now. My mom has covered up for my brother and his wifes mistakes sooo much in front of my dad to avoid fights and her response is always that Allah is watching and to have patience…my dad hates her for that and said she spoiled my brother and his wife. Honestly, my mom is sacred of losing her only one son because he threatems her all the time with that. Both my parents were on the treatment (very harsh treatment which makes a person sick and have fever and aches) by doctor for the liver. But my dad who was still a hard worker earning for my brother (my brother is lazy with two kids and plays video games and shuts himself out from family by staying in his room and was soo close to finish school after 12 years of college and lying to my dad to keep earning for him so he can finish his last school project to earn his degree as an engineer)…all of the sudden the treatment for liver on my father had bad side effects and he was hospitalized and now has liver failure and doctors are giving us a run around and told us they dont know how long he will live. He has cirrhosis. My dad and mom are both ill with the liver disease but my dad is critical and they cry and complain all the time that even though they are dying their one and only son doesnt care to even ask how they are doing or make doctor appts or even ask for forgiveness. My dad amd mom are building anger yet have love for my brother. They have been really nice with him and verbally abused by him and his wife. My dad told my brothers wife and brother that he will leave nothig for them (though he truely doesnt have much) Instead my brother and his wife leave their two small children with my parents who can barely take care if themselves to go to work since there is no income from my dad now. When my mom took care of their kids before it was ok because she was sick but wasnt extremely sick like now…but now its just not acceptable. My brother is all about money now. My mom gets a little money for diability and he takes it from her with demand and once she said no and he threw some money at her and said then pay for the rest of the bills by paying fifty percent on your own…my mom got scared and gave the money. My brother doesnt give my parents any money nor does he tell his wife to take care of them nor does he hire someone. My dad tried to buy a coat for winter because his coat was ripped and there was not enough money on the card for them…they called my brother and asked for money as they were at store and my brother denied the request and said he doesnt need a coat to keep using the old one. The actions in that house are SO harsh that it would make anybody cry if they knew it all.My sisters and I are the ones driving 40 mins every week to take my dad and mom to doctors. We have multiple marriages on one family as i mentioned up above. My brother me and my other sister are married to one family.I told my parents they need to ask Allah (swt) for help as much as possible and that I feel bad vibes and i even made them cd with ayatul kursi and surah rehman and dua manzil etc. The scary thing is when my mother tries to pray her tongue gets ties and stutters a lot she said. But my dad hates it if she prays and stays away from quran and prayers as much as he can yet lectures us to remember allah when we girls come over. Its like he wants to pray but he cant and then gets mad if he hears the prayers on the cd. My brother is against believing in black maguc and is the most stubborn man i have ever met. I dont know how to get them all to get connected with Allah (swt) because there is so much bad in that house. I know there are effects on the rest of us siblings as well…but I am more frightened for my parents as their life is so fragile right now.I pray Allah helps them and am lost to how about to get them to seek help from Allah. We live in Northern CA. Bay area is not far from us. Please if you feel you can help through Allah (swt) get my family to start remembering Allah and how I should go about this matter…maybe you know someone who may helo here in the USA?…that would be so appreciated. I am afraid of losing my parents and feel even there illness and poverty and pain are due to many enemies of theirs and black magic. I believe it has affected everyone in my family including my family. But I am happy to say that with faith Allah and doing prayers nightly (aytul kursi and 4 qul) that I have found more peace in my house. Another thing I wanted to say is that my mother in law who comes and goes a lot from Pakistan to us here in California…she has created a lot of problems for me and my sister who are married to her two sons. I know I have been affected as I am not in love with ny husband anymore and we have issues. She hates my parents and us and is sweet by mouth and my issues with my marriage got worse when she visted this last time with my father in law….when my husband went to her and said we are separating (because I wanted a divorce) she told my husband that it is a good choice to separatr and for him to sit next to her. She is the master trainer for my brothers wife and they gossip all the time and all her sons follow her every demand and will lose us over her. My sister and I have respected our in laws soo much that its hard to find anyone will do what we have these days. I have taweez that my mother inlaw got for me and my son still in the house after I asked her to take us to someone in Pak for help. We dont wear them anymore its beena few years…but after reading and researching on my own I am learning what we were taught of taweez is bad and has and is just making problems worse and we should seek help from Allah. I am learning all of this in a matter of few days and am soo scared.My moms brothers wife goes to Pakistan a lot and her ex daughter (she got her son married to a poor relative of ours from Pak and then deported her after a few years of using her as a maid) in law told us because she is back in USA because some family petitioned for her to come back through an attorney. That ex daighter in law of hers said she kept separate sugar for certain guests and gave the hint by a certain loom when she asked her ex daughter in law to make chai for a guest. She also said she use to send package of mail of pictures of relatves to a baba in Pakistan. Also, my aunts son said to my mom that his mom is going to do black magic on my mom because she did it on his mom…he told my mom to beware. This is just of some of our family enemies…there are so many more…I believe whatever was done to my parents is really old and heavy burden and not done by just one person..I believe it is also on all of us kids and our families…we have to fight this Allahs help and will…otherwise it is not good for us and generations on…What should we do? My parents and brother will not pray…my mom tries and gets stuck on words or my dad yells at her. I want my brother blessed by his parents and my parents to leave this world to Allah with peace and happiness.My friends told me there is a couple in San Jose who do cupping and a sheikh who just came back from Jordan at the mosque who does Ruqyah…I am so scared that I believe in Allah and dont want to do anything wrong or make things worse because I was planning to do a big family gathering with my husband sister her husband and my mom and dad and brother and his wife and somehow open their eyes that there is evil around us all and to go do Ruqyah and cupping but my brother I am scared will say no because he is plain mad at me right now for applying for my dads retirement when he said he wilk do it which he has never done anything for them….he just wanted to be there to know how much ny dad will get so he can havr it transferred to his own account and he got mad at me and said he never wants ti see me and for me to stay out of his household…he told mr I can worry about my parents health but not their finances or needs and to accept whatever and however he treata them…what are your recommendations? ALSO the night my dad went to hospital my mom had a bad dream with snake. May Allah bless you and protect you for helping us ser the right path to Allah in thia tough situation.Allah Hafiz-